The Ood and the kiss
by JennyLovesU
Summary: The Doctor is called over to the planet of the Ood for an emergency. But it turns out to be a quite different experience than he expected.. Not real slash, more a funny misunderstanding. Rated T cuz I never know how to rate it.


**Just something I came up with when my friend and I talked about the trailer of the newest Christmas special. We didn't like seeing the kiss and my friend said she didn't want them to kiss, and she'd rather have to kiss an Ood. Then my creative mind went crazy and this is the outcome!**

The whooshing sound of the TARDIS echoed over the freezing landscape when the Doctor arrived. His psychic paper had told him he needed to come immediately, for there was something the Ood wanted to talk about. It had sounded so urgent that the Doctor had quickly left the most fascinating planet he was visiting and had gone straight for the home of the Ood.

So there he was, wind blowing in his face and snowflakes sticking to his coat. He put his hands deep in his pockets after turning his collar upwards against the biting cold. For a moment he stared into the white landscape, then faced the town and made his way through the snow.

It was quiet in the town. He had expected some Ood to show up as soon as he arrived, and he was surprised to find he was alone. Where had all the Ood gone to?

'Doctor.' A familiar voice made the Doctor turn around.

'Ood Sigma! Oh how brilliant to find you here! Well it's not a surprise to find you here since this is where you live but still you look incredible!' the Doctor said, smiling broadly at his friend.

Ood Sigma was silent for a moment.

'I need to talk to you in private,' he then said. The Doctor frowned, looked around as if he wondered why Sigma had said "in private" since they were already alone, but then nodded.

'That's why I came. What's the matter?'

But instead of answering, Ood Sigma turned around and walked towards a cave-entry. The Doctor followed him slightly startled by the Ood's behaviour.

The cave was lit by candles, varying from large red candles to small white ones. There was a distinct smell of used matches and a faint scent of flower perfume. The flower petals, explaining the last scent, which were spread on the floor. And though it was a cave, it was warm –even hot– in there, so the Doctor had to open his coat to prevent him from melting.

Ood Sigma sat down in the middle of a circle of candles and motioned him to sit down in front of him.

Feeling a little awkward, the Doctor sat down, and his wonderment of what the Ood wanted to talk about grew bigger. Ood Sigma stared at him for a second, then with one hand held his sphere and put the other hand on the Doctor's knee.

The Doctor frowned at the touch. Ood weren't really the touchy type.

'So..' he started his sentence, but he was cut off by the Ood.

'I need your help,' he said.

'Yes, so you've said before. Help with what?'

The Ood shifted and sat down on his knees, still with one hand on the Doctor's knee.

'I have feelings.'

'Yes well we all do, don't we? Some are good, some are bad. That's how life works,' the Doctor replied, still no clue where this conversation was going to end. The Ood didn't reply, so the Doctor figured he had to talk a bit more about the subject.

'You see, some feelings are called hate and others-'

'-love?' the Ood finished his sentence. Frowning, the Doctor nodded.

'Yes. And we act based on those feelings. For example we-' Again he was cut off, but this time not by something the Ood said, but by something he did.

All of a sudden, Ood Sigma let go of his sphere, grabbed the Doctor's head and before he had any idea of what was going on, the Ood kissed him.

Or at least, that's what he tried to do. The Doctor could feel all the slippery tentacles slip into his mouth, touching his tongue and forcing their way a little further. Some of the tentacles wrapped around his tongue and made a stroking motion, as if they were petting his tongue. He could taste the weird slimy substance coming off the tentacles and even more were pushed inside. It felt like someone tried to force a whole octopus down his throat.

As sudden as the "kiss" had started, as abrupt was it over. Ood Sigma pulled back his head and the Doctor could feel every single slimy tentacle being pulled back out of his mouth. He had no idea whether he'd throw up or try to keep his respect for the Ood. Either way, he didn't dare to swallow and his mouth still felt like those things were still crawling inside.

The Ood just stared at him in silence, and scraping his throat the Doctor tried to find the right words.

'That was eh..'

'-nice?' the Ood tried.

'-unexpected,' the Doctor carefully finished his sentence. The Ood nodded slightly.

'I think I love-'

'Wow, is it so late already? Time flies when.. well time just flies!' the Doctor interrupted him and he jumped up, wiping off the flower petals from his trousers. The Ood got up too and held out his hand, as if he wanted the Doctor to give him a hand. The Doctor hesitated; after this "incident" he didn't really feel like touching the Ood, even it cost him the respect he had built up.

But the outstretched hand in front of him nearly demanded the Doctor's hand. Considering to just give a hand, he hovered his hand above the Ood's, but didn't find the courage to shake it.

So instead he made a quick bow.

'Doctor, I am simply asking for your hand,' the Ood said. A chill ran down the Doctor's spine but the Ood didn't pull back his hand.

'Look, I really..' he thought for a moment to find the right word, 'admire you as a fellow alien, but that's as far as our relationship goes. I am not, on any level, interested in something more with you. Or any other Ood. Don't take it too personal, but you kinda have to work on your kissing if you want to impress me.'

It was once again silent for some uncomfortable long seconds, then the Ood made a sound that turned out to be a short laugh.

'I don't love you,' the Ood said, making the weird laugh-sound again. 'I love someone else. I just wanted advice from you since you're so wise and good with the girls.'

The Doctor smiled absently, then frowned and asked: 'What do you mean, good with the girls?'

'Your companions and friends are mainly girls. And you spend a lot of time inside the TARDIS. You must be having some-'

'Whoa whoa! First of all, that's none of your business. But apart from that; why did you have to stick your..well..why did you have to kiss me?'

'As I said, I needed advice. I don't want my first kiss with the one I love to be horrible.'

The Doctor chuckled but quickly suppressed it when the Ood looked his way.

'Was it horrible?'

The Doctor gasped for air and waved his hands desperately to come up with anything other than "yes, yes it was" for that would be mean.

'No! No it was..interesting. It was..surprising and.. well let's just keep it at interesting,' the Doctor finally said, a forced smile on his face.

The Ood made a small bow.

'Thank you Doctor. Then I ask you to leave as my real guest will be arriving soon,' the Ood said and he made another bow.

The Doctor smirked, happy he could go, and after a quick bow he made his way back to the TARDIS.

He let out a breath of relief when he opened his familiar TARDIS door. Glad to be back, he pressed some buttons, pulled some levers and heard his TARDIS make the whooshing noise she made when they were leaving.

He sighed and shook his head when the memories of the kiss flashed through his mind.

'I'll just stick with humans. They kiss far better than aliens, and definitely better than Ood!'


End file.
